Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Ancora Imparo

They say that there are many seasons in life we'll go through. But some in particular for the purpose of changing our hearts.

The other day was the last official day of school for me. Teachers put away books, cleaned up the last of their classrooms, and I walked down the quiet empty halls one last time.

It all felt surreal. It was just last June and I was having a panic attack asking God whether this is what I should take or not.

Teaching was always something I said no to simply because I thought I was only meant to do other things.

And I fought it with every ounce of me. 

But if there's one thing I've learned (and believe me I've learned plenty this year), is that sometimes the things you resist the most out of fear are the things that you need to jump right into.

What I didn't realize is when you constantly ask God for something... He actually listens.

I just never thought He would literally give me something that was exactly was I asked for... but in the direction I was always running from. 

But against it all, I stayed.

I now understand what it means to hold on until the final scene. 

That through the dozens of failed lessons, after-school breakdowns, a million pencil sharpenings, late night lesson planning and construction paper cutting, but I can't leave out the sweet cheer me up notes from certain students after class... I get why it was so important to hold on until the end. 

I was proven wrong. 

This opportunity didn't just show me I could do it, it changed me and everything I thought. 

God literally took my heart streched, squished, beat, rolled, and stuck it back into my chest. And He knew it would change me all along. I just had to make the choice to stay.

I’ll end with this. That life is a series of situations... but if you pay attention closely, there's something you can take from every part of it. 

The good, the bad, the sobbing 'til my head feels like I pounded it on a cement wall, the days where you feel on top of the world.
I totally failed somedays. But I totally won. 

When God opens a door for you, know He already has the toolbox you need for it. And then you run with it. Run and don't stop until you cross that finish line.

I taught my students about Michelangelo this year. He worked until days before his death, continuing his passion. His words stuck to me when I came across it.

"Ancora Imparo."  

After an entire year of trials, mishaps, and successes… I’m still learning. Those kiddies taught me more than they'll ever know.

All I have left to say is, thank you. 

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