Thursday, October 20, 2016

The light at the end

"I can't do this" I sat there in my car clutching the wheel, my mascara now dripping down my cheeks and looked more like Batman's cape than my day's makeup.

Bending over the window opening, he paused and then took my face firmly in his hands, "Yes you can. This is only the will get better. You can run away if you want, but I'm telling you not to. If God didn't think you could do it, he wouldn't have given you this."

I can't say I really understand how life can change from one moment to another, but it does.

One day you could be waiting and longing for something, and then all of a sudden you forgot what you wanted in the first place from being so busy. 

I'm in a pretty busy season at the moment. I'm grateful for my job because it is a hidden blessing (thanks God), but to be honest it's been a pretty brutal war of pushing and shoving on my end. 

If you know me well, you know I'm pretty darn stubborn. And when I say stubborn I mean no matter what anyone tells me and tries to sweet talk me and encourage me, if I want to cry that day... I'm going to cry. 

And sometimes that's OK. You don't have to be strong all the time. Because you're human, I'm human. 

The world keeps telling us that we need to filter ourselves to show we can handle it all, be successful, take the blows and at the end of the day smile and reflect that on social media. 

But the truth is, sometimes it hurts so badly that all we want to do is bury our faces into the hard floor and just sob. 

That's real. Because life can't be filtered.

But after the tears, you need to get yourself back up, walk away, and leave the past where it is... in the past. 

If there's one thing I want you to know that the world doesn't tell us is this: there is a light at the end. And it does in fact get better. 

This season that you're in whatever it may be... it's temporary, but necessary for you to grow.

And then when you finally see that faint light... you won't crawl, you won't hold onto the walls.... you will run to it because you've already been through the darkness. 

Hold on just a little bit longer, fight until you've given all that's in you and don't you dare give up... the light is too bright for you to miss out on at the end. 

Monday, October 3, 2016

Sweet Love | Danielle & Michael

I've said it before, but I truly do love photographing couples. It's a chance for me to bring out the best of two people in love. Every couple is unique and brings their own personality when they come to the shoot... and that's what makes it so fun!

Danielle and I went to the same high school, and so when she contacted me about engagement photos I was so excited because I remember how much of a funny and sweet person she was. 

Michael set up an entire scavenger hunt for Danielle to follow, ranging from the school she works in as a teacher, to getting her nails done... and finally to the spot he was waiting for her and then proposed. It was the sweetest and most thoughtful thing... nice job Mike!!

Danielle and Michael are HUGE football fans, so we started in the location where Michael proposed and then moved onto another area where they changed into their favorite rival football jerseys... NY Giants vs. Dallas Cowboys. 

I gave Michael and Danielle a good long laugh when I embarrassed myself and asked if the football season was over... OH BARBARA IT HAS JUST BEGUN! -__-  Oh, only me. 

Haha but thankfully they forgave me and told me all about the details... don't worry guys I know a little bit more now ;). 

Here are my favorite photographs from their gorgeous session. Danielle and Mike, thank you so much for choosing me to photograph your sweet love... I had such a fun time!!!

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Year Five

It's crazy to think that five years ago today, I started this wild idea of mine. I really had no clue as to what to do after college and was honestly hopeless. Sometimes it still feels that way. 

I always want to know what's going to happen, and if what I'm doing is right for me... but that's exactly what God has been teaching me the past few weeks. I can be really stubborn, but I can feel Him changing me through the different circumstances. 

A lot of changes have taken place in my life this year, new job, my nonno that had been in the hospital... and truthfully I've wanted to give up many times. 

But that's when all of these amazing people that God placed in my life show up and remind me... Hey you're going to be okay, don't you ever give up. God's not finished yet. 

My old friend Joe from church recently reminded me to try my best, but most of all to just put my heart into it. And it's funny how God uses little things to connect them all. I happened to look down, and the notebook I had for over a year had written the following quote:

Wherever you go, go with all your heart.

And then I smiled. Oh. I think I'm starting to understand it all now. Whatever the circumstances, wherever He places you... give it your heart. That's all God asks. And it's going to be okay. 

I'm so thankful and happy I started this blog 5 years ago. The amazing people I got to meet and work and laugh with, have played a giant part of my journey and growing heart. 

Here's to five years, to new beginnings, and to never ever giving up.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Fashion Portraits | Photoshootin' Fun

     I love photographing personal projects from time to time, it can help me bring different visions I have to life. Before my 27th birthday, one of my best friends and I drove out to the Deep Cut Gardens in Middletown, NJ to do a small photo shoot. 
     The lighting was perfect because it was the golden hour right before Sunset... if you've ever been on a shoot with me you know how much I LOVE the golden hour ;) Special thank you to my gorgeous friend Steph for taking portraits of me... you rocked it girl! <3