Thursday, January 28, 2016

The girl who didn't want to be found

"So you're like the girl who didn't want to be found..." My cousin suggested as she listened to one of my ramblings about a recent incident. 

"Oh yea... yea I guess I am!" I laughed at her statement that seemed to perfectly hit the nail on describing who I was.  

You've probably heard countless stories of how people would leave clues, hints, a map that led to hidden treasures. How without these clues... well it's safe to say that without them the treasure would never be found.


If someone entrusted me with a mission to make sure to leave behind clues, anything that would help someone get closer to finding something.... I would totally fail. 

Let's begin by stating that I'm a note hoarder. No seriously I am. I have like five packs of sticky post-its (the neon squared ones) in my purse and then backups in my drawer. Oh and that doesn't include the sealed up one for when I run out. 

Then let's not forget about the countless journals, and scraps of paper that randomly float around to the bottom of my tote bag. The reason for it is because I'm always listening, looking, and observing like everything. And so by the end of the day my brain is somewhat like Dory in which I forget things in an instant if I don't quickly jot it down. 

So the solution is to always have some sort of notepad and pen on me. I'm the girl that will be watching a movie or hearing a song, and some beautiful quote or scene will speak to me... and then you better believe I'm typing it in my phone if I can't find a piece of paper.

So it brings me to the incident which I was telling my cousin about. I was at work one day and had a note in my hand and when I came back to my room, I realized I had dropped it on the way.  

My mind flashed to some random child or teacher picking it up and thinking what a weirdo this person must be for these scribbles of thoughts. Or even worse.... that MY name was written on that torn paper and then I'd be revealed. They'd then parade with it down the hall until the whole school would know I was some sort of freak.

OH THE AGONY. So you guessed it, I retraced my steps to search for my little prodigal scrap of paper. And low and behold, there it was in the middle of the hallway, a note no bigger than my hand and blending into the shiny white floors. 

I quickly picked it up and read the tiny, written too fast font on the ripped out piece of lined paper. My heart sank and I felt a relief and sense of guilt at the same time.

On the piece of paper was a bible verse that I didn't want to forget. Nothing more, nothing less. 

How silly was I to run back after that note as if it contained my deepest darkest secret? I often feel like sometimes many of us hide what we treasure most, for fear that someone will point their sticky fingers and laugh at us.

We're careful not to leave behind any traces of ourselves or what we love for fear of rejection, humiliation. So in a way it's sort of like we're saying we don't exist.

Because the truth is without a voice, our voice... we don't exist.

And that should make us all a little sad. Well actually it should break our hearts. Because it sure breaks God's heart. 

It's like God leaves us our own personalized map, with trails and different treasures to uncover along the way. The treasures are our talents, quirks, and interests that ultimately lead us to where we're supposed to be.

So what I'm saying is if we don't share the things that make us want to swirl around until we're dizzy from laughing so hard, the things that make us feel alive... how will we ever know what amazing things we're capable of?

If you and I don't come alive... how will we help others come alive?

And so don't be like the girl who didn't want to be found. The world needs your treasures, the ones you hold so deeply and make you come alive... because your treasures help the world come alive.

Don't be afraid to share your heart, what you love, why you love it. You were not a mistake and neither was your unique mind.

No comments:

Post a Comment