34: Find Joy

 

Ahhh yesterday was my 34th birthday. Everyone always asks you How do you feel? after another birthday or major event... truthfully some days I still don't feel a day over 17. But then other times I feel like I don't even know that 17 year old girl anymore. We've gotten so far, my perception and heart has changed and grown so much, that I think if I could've looked into the tiny peephole of my future I would've been really surprised but happy with what I saw.

 

I never recall crying on my birthday, as a child you're surrounded by so many people coming together to celebrate you. But as you get older, sometimes you find that the group gets smaller and things are just different. 

 

So this year I cried a bit. I cried for the things lost, I cried for the people that are no longer here to embrace me like they would... but mostly I cried because of the words and messages of the people that are still here and love me everyday.  

 

In the morning I opened up my birthday card from my older friend and coworker (she told me I had to wait until my actual birthday to read it)... to the words Find Joy on the cover. They couldn't have been more perfect and true. Maybe that's the point of getting older that we don't see when we're younger. Maybe we're so lost in the excitement, the plans, the crowd of people...  that we don't see the miracle of being alive for a whole other year. 

 

Everyone talks about how they want to be happy, but happiness is conditional and temporary. But joy? Joy is eternal despite everything else that could be surrounding us.

 

Maybe it's the smell of freshly brewed coffee whisking you up in the morning (more like mushroom coffee for me haha). Maybe it's a morning voicemail from a friend telling you that you've impacted their life... and then ugly crying in your bed because of it. Maybe it's a slow dance in the kitchen with your husband as he serenades you in a voice too funny to not burst out laughing. 

Maybe it's the sun coming out after the rain reminding you that God very much loves you and still has you here for a purpose... that you are not forgotten. 

And I've realized that when you walk beside the very One who created you, another year on this side of heaven may seem like you're getting older is a bad thing... but if you're on His path, you are being renewed every. single. day. Now that's an eternal joy and youth promised that I want to soak up every bit of. 

And maybe as we get older, it isn't about what we see, but what we know is true.  

May we find joy in the little things, the big things, and all the things in between, always. 

with all my love and always for His glory,

Barbara

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16, KJV)