Thursday, May 18, 2017

An Emblem of Living hope

Celebrating my Nonno's 80th birthday 2 months after he was home

"There isn't anything else we can do…" A year ago around this time, my father stood at the kitchen counter talking to us quietly.

I clutched at my Mom's shirt, tears shedding down my face. It was 11:00pm. They had taken my Nonno to the hospital and we were all waiting.

Everything was failing.

His lungs, his liver… they didn't know where he was bleeding from. But his vital signs weren't good. 

I looked at my father and choked up words mixed with sobs came out of my mouth.

"But he can't go... he can't die!" I sobbed into my mom's shirt.

My father just looked away. My mother shook me, took my face in her hands and told me to stop crying and to have faith.

"Do you believe God could help him? We need to pray… it isn't over yet."

I wanted to believe it so badly. The slightest bit of hope I had in me that my grandfather would live had been shredded away when the doctors said everything was failing.

But how? But why? But God?

That night I went upstairs and hit my face to the cold wooden floor and I just sobbed. I begged God to
heal him because we still needed him here.

I wanted my grandparents to see me get married one day. I wanted to continue reading the bible with him.

I wanted to tell the world his story of how he came to know Christ. It couldn't be over.

It was the beginning of many long nights. Almost a month to be exact.

The first night we went to visit him… things didn't look good. Before we left my grandfather whispered “Pray for me…”

I knew there was nothing any of us could do. This was all God's territory. Days became weeks. 

At one point I felt reading through scripture was becoming repetitive. God I'm reading your words, but why can't I see any of it happening? Where are you?

But even when it felt like nothing was happening and that God was silent... we prayed anyway. Somehow this wasn’t over. Not yet. God was up to something.

My entire family gathered together in the waiting area for nights. 5 people soon turned to 30, all anxiously awaiting any news. 

Then things became worse. He was taken into the ICU. This verse stood out to me in the pool of words as I was reading scripture:

// When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. // John 11:4

After a transfer to another hospital, dozens of tests and weeks later… the internal bleeding stopped. There was no explanation for it.

Driving home that night, a giant truck sign on the side of the road I had never noticed before had the word GRACE, spelled out in big letters. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe God sets little reminders in place to let us know He was there all along.

That no matter how bad a situation is… it is never too far gone from God's grace. That you never give up and when the situation is impossible for us, is when we fight the hardest on our knees in prayer.

This post was really hard for me to write and share. But I promised God when my grandfather was healed, I'd give Him all of the glory.

And so I want you to know that God hears and acts. That things in this life are beyond us... but nothing is beyond God.

The Lord heard us and He healed. Today my Nonno is here because of Jesus. For that I owe Him my all. 

// Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. // Philippians 4:6-7

No comments:

Post a Comment