Pageants, Dr. House, and Being True to Yourself

When I was in college, I had a friend who had participated in numerous pageants. She was beautiful and her photographs made me want go pick up a silky long gown and join one myself. 

So I did. 

I dragged my Mom along on another wild idea of mine into the Pageantry world, convincing her that I too could walk the walk and talk the talk. 

Little did I know that it wasn't just all pretty dresses, makeup, and glam. 

So I attended the various interviews and scheduled photo-shoots. It was all great. Until I got to the questions round. 

I heard my name being called, silently walked into the room alone as I turned to see my Mom's face before they closed the large office doors.

"What's your favorite show?"

Ahh.... ahem WHAT?

I panicked knowing that my favorite show at the time was The Hills (because of their fashion, obvs)... but no way could I say that. That wasn't a smart enough show.

So I lied. 

I opened my mouth and let out a small crack and squeak... "I love House". 

HOUSE?!?! I couldn't believe those words had just slipped out of my mouth. The only thing I could say that I loved about it was that it was cool he was a doctor and solved cases. 

Oh and his name... I remembered his name, which also happened to be the show's title. 

I walked out feeling like my lie was written all over my body. And I failed.  

I still got to participate in the pageant, I didn't win... but looking back I can't help but laugh. 

I was so embarrassed of what I actually loved and who I was, that I lied and created a whole other me. And I actually thought people would buy it.  

If I could tell my 19 year old self one thing, it would be this:

Don't be afraid to show the world what you love and how you were created. Those things that make you different, weird, quirky... make you incredibly beautiful.

And I say the same to you. Don't deny the world of your true self... it's the greatest gift you can give. 

 // To be nobody but yourself in a world

 which is doing its best day and night 

to make you like everybody else

 means to fight the hardest battle

 which any human being can fight

 and never stop fighting. // e.e. cummings